Subject: The BUZZWATER Company
From: "BUZZWATER Company" [email protected]
Date: Tue, March 14, 2006 8:01 am
To: [email protected]
I would like to take the time in my busy schedule to thank you for your scathing, sarcastic review of our company's web site and nominating the site as Awful link of the day. We would also like to thank you for directing your loyal customers to our site and the hundreds of additional orders these customers purchased via our e-commerce site last week.
Our company was bombarded with e-mails from your customer base in regards to the review and these customers could not understand how such a great product would receive such a review. They loved the site and the products and the whole idea of producing a healthier caffeine alternative to coffee, tea, colas and energy drinks They directed our company via e-mail links to your site and the review.
After a brief glance through your boring vanilla site and its contents of wanna be editors who struggle to make a meager financial existence and spew out racists remarks and content its seems quite evident how shallow you all must be and what a sad site and excuse for accomplishing nothing in life other than wasting valuable time sitting around making fun of others.
Your lame site and editorial shit no matter how bad you hate our site, loss of eye sight and the intentional grammatical errors and words not found in the dictionary on our site are no match for the power of our products and obviously your customers agree by only wasting time reading on your site but spending money on our site. I would not assume they had any intelligence whatsoever reading such crap and wasting valuable time but they have somewhat redeemed themselves for they understood our products and purchased them even after your sabotage attempt.
Thanks once again Doosh Bag
The BUZZWATER Company
‘Toad coin?’ wondered the traveler as he examined the pebble. It did not look all that different from any other pebble, and certainly nothing like a coin. ‘What manner of coin has no head or tail, and bears no seal or flag? Who backs this toad coin, the toad bank? The toad treasury!?’ The traveler laughed, but the toads croaked sternly back at him.
Spending $10-15 a day on perishable organic dog food is not a sign of a decadent culture in terminal decline, it's actually real good and worth it.
No lifeguard on duty. Maze run at your own risk.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!