This is a stealth Daily Dirt because I don’t want to advertise the fact that I don’t believe anything I said on the front page. I figure I’m going to get a lot of angry emails from people assuming I am xenophobic, hyper-patriotic, and racist. I’m not actually trying to make people mad, because hopefully 99% of our readers will know that it’s a joke, but I’ll never spoil a chance to let something innocuous rile up the retards.
The Worst Phrase Ever is…
"I’m a South Park Republican.”
No, you’re a fucking idiot. If you’re a “South Park Republican” then I am a “Perfect Strangers Democrat.” I can’t believe those goofball louts who created “South Park” have not only somehow continued to be popular but also spawned a quasi-political movement of disaffected white kids who are too cool for anything political other than the war on terror. Hey guys, guess what, your big ironic preachy South Park endings are still preachy endings even if you try to Trojan Horse them to the kids as a joke.
Matt and Trey, your big “Team America Puppet Patrol” movie is the ultimate example since every single moral you have is “the democrats are ‘a’ and the republicans are ‘b’ and we need something between the two.” Hey faggots, Neil Armstrong is “a” and a cannibalistic transsexual rapist named Custard is “b”, so let’s strive to be something between the two! Good work, Brain Trust incorporated. You really cleared up and set straight the ridiculousness of politics in this day and age.
The human anatomy is home to more than three hundred organs. Doctors and chocolatiers agree that the vast majority of these revolting lumps of tissue serve little to no function. If you find yourself standing in a long line or stuck at the airport waiting for a delayed flight, consider taking a few minutes to remove the following from your person.
Do you have what it takes to make it on the ballot?
Denzel is here to set the movie scales back to zero. That's what an equalizer does, right?
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