This is a stealth Daily Dirt because I don’t want to advertise the fact that I don’t believe anything I said on the front page. I figure I’m going to get a lot of angry emails from people assuming I am xenophobic, hyper-patriotic, and racist. I’m not actually trying to make people mad, because hopefully 99% of our readers will know that it’s a joke, but I’ll never spoil a chance to let something innocuous rile up the retards.
The Worst Phrase Ever is…
"I’m a South Park Republican.”
No, you’re a fucking idiot. If you’re a “South Park Republican” then I am a “Perfect Strangers Democrat.” I can’t believe those goofball louts who created “South Park” have not only somehow continued to be popular but also spawned a quasi-political movement of disaffected white kids who are too cool for anything political other than the war on terror. Hey guys, guess what, your big ironic preachy South Park endings are still preachy endings even if you try to Trojan Horse them to the kids as a joke.
Matt and Trey, your big “Team America Puppet Patrol” movie is the ultimate example since every single moral you have is “the democrats are ‘a’ and the republicans are ‘b’ and we need something between the two.” Hey faggots, Neil Armstrong is “a” and a cannibalistic transsexual rapist named Custard is “b”, so let’s strive to be something between the two! Good work, Brain Trust incorporated. You really cleared up and set straight the ridiculousness of politics in this day and age.
Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!
Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.
The famed gonzo otaku journalist writes about the death of gaming culture in 2014.
Try not to break your console while I try not to break my cyber brain.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!