Again I would like to thank Alex "Microwave" May for his artwork. Without it it would be an even longer chunk of text, and since I know most people at the SA Forums don't like to read anything that isn't three paragraphs long and about naked anime girls, it made things easier on the eye.
On that note I'd like to apologize for the length, especially on the last story. It was long and there wasn't a lot of humor to interject, but I hope the subject matter made up for it. I know a lot of this stuff is hard to believe but I assure you it's all true.
I would like to say thank you to all the readers and forums members who read the last update and decided to drop me a line. I know my responses started to come out sounding a little can but that was a ton of thank-yous to write. I still loved writing them, though - this probably sounds dumb and/or smarmy but but when someone takes time to say a nice word I like to thank them. Part of this is manners and part of it is trying to get the last word in every conversation I'm ever in. Shoot me an email and see which half you get!
Last week we took a look at Mike Vanderjagt's career. Next time we'll talk about a certain Mr. Iverson and a certain group of people who are too stupid to trade him before he loses any and all value. On that note, anyone who thinks a Pietrus for Iverson trade would eventually hurt the Warriors is
an idiot very smart. In short, if he doesn't come to the Pacers I'm probably going to go ahead and end it all. That's just how much I care about basketball.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!