What did I expect when I went to work for Something Awful? I expected it to be fun. And it is! It keeps me busy too. This is the next series I am working on:
If you ever wonder what I do all day I'm either drawing or animating. When I get free time I take long walks, listen to old music, or play old video games. There seems to be many that have a sick fascination with me. I don't know why. I'm not all that interesting. I've always hated the idea of "internet celebrity." I think you know these types. The kind of people who think they're hot shit and make the whole world their livejournal.
"Hey baby. I'm on a little thing called 'the internet.' Ever heard of it? Of course you have. Oh this shirt? It's from my website. Yes, I have a website. Where ya goin' baby?"
I never want to be lumped in with those people so I keep my real life and internet life separate. I'm very social, and my real life friends know I draw, but as far as what I do for a living I keep that secret. It isn't important who I am. When people say they love ME I correct them. Love my cartoons, not me. That's like the opposite of today's "internet humorists" who strive for attention. Oh hey look there's the creator of Donald's Wacky Humor Site on NBC! Wow, he's famous!
I can't play the games of today. I don't "get" them and they're too expensive. As of right now I have 330 NES carts. I also just got myself a Sega Master System recently. Not bad. Technically more advanced, but the NES kind of blows it away. I also got something called a Unisonic Tournament 2000. It's supposed to come with this realistic looking rifle, but it didn't. I guess that's why I got it for so cheap.
This is the greatest image in existance.
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
We have used extensive market research to determine the average consumers of America's favorite rolls of caramel-oozing choco cysts.
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