What did I expect when I went to work for Something Awful? I expected it to be fun. And it is! It keeps me busy too. This is the next series I am working on:
If you ever wonder what I do all day I'm either drawing or animating. When I get free time I take long walks, listen to old music, or play old video games. There seems to be many that have a sick fascination with me. I don't know why. I'm not all that interesting. I've always hated the idea of "internet celebrity." I think you know these types. The kind of people who think they're hot shit and make the whole world their livejournal.
"Hey baby. I'm on a little thing called 'the internet.' Ever heard of it? Of course you have. Oh this shirt? It's from my website. Yes, I have a website. Where ya goin' baby?"
I never want to be lumped in with those people so I keep my real life and internet life separate. I'm very social, and my real life friends know I draw, but as far as what I do for a living I keep that secret. It isn't important who I am. When people say they love ME I correct them. Love my cartoons, not me. That's like the opposite of today's "internet humorists" who strive for attention. Oh hey look there's the creator of Donald's Wacky Humor Site on NBC! Wow, he's famous!
I can't play the games of today. I don't "get" them and they're too expensive. As of right now I have 330 NES carts. I also just got myself a Sega Master System recently. Not bad. Technically more advanced, but the NES kind of blows it away. I also got something called a Unisonic Tournament 2000. It's supposed to come with this realistic looking rifle, but it didn't. I guess that's why I got it for so cheap.
This is the greatest image in existance.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!