USA 2006 World Tour Progress Report
Funding has been temporarily pulled from this goodwill tour of laughs because of the high price of gasoline and my extravagant purchases from Skymall. We still have half a year left to tour so right now I am getting a lot of sleep and playing Oblivion so I am ready for action. Once gas prices hit $1.00 a gallon again, we have been given the green light to get this show on the road. Thank you for your patience concerning this matter if you are one of the many schools and hospitals I promised to visit to perform a puppet show. Pardon our dust during this transition processes.
Front Page Gossip
There is no gossip this month. Sorry but all the writers have been behaving themselves since my watchdog task force has been keeping tabs on them. It's sad really, when you love something so much that you destroy it Lets just pray that one of them slips up soon and get caught drunk driving or diagnosed with a rare cancer. Where have all the cowboys gone?
See ya next month kids!
Did Louis C.K. jerk off in front of two female comics? And why are these ladies squandering an opportunity to learn from a comedy legend?
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!