Front Page Gossip: Seth "Terrorsaurus" Knisley Sucks Balls
This just in, the Sunday writer "Terrorsaurus" is terrible and should be avoided at all costs. I really don't know how he fumbled his way into a writing position, but all I can say is that it was a monumental mistake on the level of the Hindenberg or the Killroy album. I can only assume that Lowtax was mixing baby formula and Ambian again when he gave this clown the green light. I dunno, maybe Richard is angry with God and decided to blemish all the Sundays with terrible content as revenge. I even offered to take his slot and pick up the slack, but I was told that this Sunday he has one more shot to be funny. If this one isn't funny, it's back back to being a sandwich artist with Knisley. I'll take a meatball sub please.
A Word About Hurricane Katrina
In the coming days Prombles will completely revolutionize the way we think about useless household devices. With less expensive alternatives like Amazon's Echo and Google Home already on the market, what can our smart speaker offer you, the customer?
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!