Front Page Gossip: Seth "Terrorsaurus" Knisley Sucks Balls
This just in, the Sunday writer "Terrorsaurus" is terrible and should be avoided at all costs. I really don't know how he fumbled his way into a writing position, but all I can say is that it was a monumental mistake on the level of the Hindenberg or the Killroy album. I can only assume that Lowtax was mixing baby formula and Ambian again when he gave this clown the green light. I dunno, maybe Richard is angry with God and decided to blemish all the Sundays with terrible content as revenge. I even offered to take his slot and pick up the slack, but I was told that this Sunday he has one more shot to be funny. If this one isn't funny, it's back back to being a sandwich artist with Knisley. I'll take a meatball sub please.
A Word About Hurricane Katrina
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This is the crown jewel of my erotic lamp collection, and a must-have for any serious pleasure lamp collector.
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
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