FIRST I STOPPED BY CALIFORNIA TO GIVE RESPECT TO MY ANCESTORS BUT I GOT DISTRACTED BY THIS FUCKIN' FISH. I TRIED TO EAT HIM BUT IT WAS MADE OF WOOD. WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE!?
I MUST HAVE SOME MAD ADD BECAUSE I ALSO GOT DISTRACTED BY THIS AWESOME ASS ROLLER COASTER. IT WAS PRETTY FUN BUT SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME.
I FOUND MY STUPID ASS ANCESTORS AND NEARLY DIED. WHAT THE FUCK CALIFORNIA?
I CONTINUED TO THE WEST UNTIL I FOUND THIS LARGE PIECE OF SHIT WALL. I COULD WALK RIGHT OVER THIS USELESS THING. WHAT THE FUCK???
Did you know that you only use 10% of your brain? You may have heard that before. But what if you could use 100%? YOU CAN!
This is where the excerpt from an article usually goes. Since the content of this update is only intended for cool people, I refuse to place a single word in the path of blundering normal people.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!