FIRST I STOPPED BY CALIFORNIA TO GIVE RESPECT TO MY ANCESTORS BUT I GOT DISTRACTED BY THIS FUCKIN' FISH. I TRIED TO EAT HIM BUT IT WAS MADE OF WOOD. WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE!?
I MUST HAVE SOME MAD ADD BECAUSE I ALSO GOT DISTRACTED BY THIS AWESOME ASS ROLLER COASTER. IT WAS PRETTY FUN BUT SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME.
I FOUND MY STUPID ASS ANCESTORS AND NEARLY DIED. WHAT THE FUCK CALIFORNIA?
I CONTINUED TO THE WEST UNTIL I FOUND THIS LARGE PIECE OF SHIT WALL. I COULD WALK RIGHT OVER THIS USELESS THING. WHAT THE FUCK???
Did Louis C.K. jerk off in front of two female comics? And why are these ladies squandering an opportunity to learn from a comedy legend?
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!