FIRST I STOPPED BY CALIFORNIA TO GIVE RESPECT TO MY ANCESTORS BUT I GOT DISTRACTED BY THIS FUCKIN' FISH. I TRIED TO EAT HIM BUT IT WAS MADE OF WOOD. WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE!?
I MUST HAVE SOME MAD ADD BECAUSE I ALSO GOT DISTRACTED BY THIS AWESOME ASS ROLLER COASTER. IT WAS PRETTY FUN BUT SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME.
I FOUND MY STUPID ASS ANCESTORS AND NEARLY DIED. WHAT THE FUCK CALIFORNIA?
I CONTINUED TO THE WEST UNTIL I FOUND THIS LARGE PIECE OF SHIT WALL. I COULD WALK RIGHT OVER THIS USELESS THING. WHAT THE FUCK???
The CEO of Lobstero, makers of the expensive home Lobster System, responds to recent unfavorable headlines about hand-squeezing a lobster out of one of the company's Lobster Packs.
Should you call someone a Nazi? The answer will surprise you.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!