MY VACATION TOOK ME TO PARIS. WHAT A BUNCH OF PUSSIES. THE ONLY THING GOOD ABOUT THIS DUMP WAS I MET MY COUSIN FRANK. HERE WE ARE IN FRONT OF THE MOST USELESS TOWER I HAVE EVER BEEN TO.
MY TIME WAS COMING TO A CLOSE SO THE FAMILY GOT TOGETHER ON THE LAST DAY OF MY VACATION. GRAMPS HAD ANOTHER HEART ATTACK. THE SELFISH MOTHERFUCKER ALWAYS DOES THIS!!!
NOW I AM BACK AT WORK, WHERE SHIT SUCKS. STACY HAD TO TAKE THIS GAY PICTURE OF ME. GOD DAMN BITCH! (TOTALLY HIT THAT)
NOT ALL IS BAD AT WORK THOUGH. I SPEND MOST OF MY TIME WATCHING SOME MOTHERFUCKIN' T-REX PORN.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
Were you enjoying your day? STOP! There is outrageous crap going on you need to know about!
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!