MY VACATION TOOK ME TO PARIS. WHAT A BUNCH OF PUSSIES. THE ONLY THING GOOD ABOUT THIS DUMP WAS I MET MY COUSIN FRANK. HERE WE ARE IN FRONT OF THE MOST USELESS TOWER I HAVE EVER BEEN TO.
MY TIME WAS COMING TO A CLOSE SO THE FAMILY GOT TOGETHER ON THE LAST DAY OF MY VACATION. GRAMPS HAD ANOTHER HEART ATTACK. THE SELFISH MOTHERFUCKER ALWAYS DOES THIS!!!
NOW I AM BACK AT WORK, WHERE SHIT SUCKS. STACY HAD TO TAKE THIS GAY PICTURE OF ME. GOD DAMN BITCH! (TOTALLY HIT THAT)
NOT ALL IS BAD AT WORK THOUGH. I SPEND MOST OF MY TIME WATCHING SOME MOTHERFUCKIN' T-REX PORN.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!