MY VACATION TOOK ME TO PARIS. WHAT A BUNCH OF PUSSIES. THE ONLY THING GOOD ABOUT THIS DUMP WAS I MET MY COUSIN FRANK. HERE WE ARE IN FRONT OF THE MOST USELESS TOWER I HAVE EVER BEEN TO.
MY TIME WAS COMING TO A CLOSE SO THE FAMILY GOT TOGETHER ON THE LAST DAY OF MY VACATION. GRAMPS HAD ANOTHER HEART ATTACK. THE SELFISH MOTHERFUCKER ALWAYS DOES THIS!!!
NOW I AM BACK AT WORK, WHERE SHIT SUCKS. STACY HAD TO TAKE THIS GAY PICTURE OF ME. GOD DAMN BITCH! (TOTALLY HIT THAT)
NOT ALL IS BAD AT WORK THOUGH. I SPEND MOST OF MY TIME WATCHING SOME MOTHERFUCKIN' T-REX PORN.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
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