Zack: Shortly after nightfall you spot a tiny village with a tavern.
Steve: Finally, my natural habitat. Pull us over and go inside.
Zack: Walt finds someone to try to negotiate with for gas for the jeep. Betty goes inside with Gags in tow. It's exactly like one of those scenes in a Western, only imagine polka music instead of a piano and most of the people look like ruddy-faced farmers in lederhosen and drindl dresses.
Steve: Are those the Oktoberfest outfits?
Steve: Nice. Checking out the hooters.
Zack: You're playing as a woman.
Steve: Sizing up the competition.
Zack: Does Betty speak German?
Zack: A stocky man stumbles over, obviously drunk, and he jabs a finger at Betty and Gags. "Yoouuu don't belong here," he says in German. "You're going to make trouble for us and we don't need--"
Zack: He gets interrupted by his companions who pull him outside.
Steve: Betty is like, "Yeah, real welcoming people you Austrians. We save you from the Nazis and this is the thanks we get??"
Zack: Most of the other patrons get up angrily and shuffle out of the tavern.
Steve: "Whatever. I didn't join the code breakers to make friends. Well, actually I did, but that was in England, not here. And I did make friends. A LOT OF THEM!"
Zack: A man comes out from the back of the tavern and apologizes for the rudeness of his customers. "These have been hard years, and we don't have much to offer, but I will gladly give you some soup and beer and a place to stay."
Steve: Not really a soup person, but I'm guessing he doesn't have hoagies so that will have to do.
Zack: Walt joins you and the tavern keeper brings out beers and some stale bred and bowls of soup.
Steve: "My compliments to the blech!"
Steve: A little Mad Magazine humor for you.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.