AD&D - Monster Manual II (1983)
Zack: As with anything D&D they start running out of ideas long before they exhaust the will to produce books.
Steve: Yeah I don't really get the point of Valley Elves. They're wood elves but in a valley.
Zack: The Monster Manual II planning meeting called for at least two pages of superfluous elves.
Zack: "Five pages of oozes, three pages of dinosaurs indistinguishable from dinosaurs we already used - don't even include pictures - and, ah, two pages of elves. Kid, I need two pages of elves before 6PM."
Steve: Extree! Extree! Read all about it! Valley contains d4x10 elves!
Zack: They look and act just like previous elves. But in a valley. GENIUS!
Steve: Kid unwraps Monster Manual II, breathlessly flips to the letter E, fist-pumps at the sight of two new elf sub-types.
Steve: "Wait'll everybody on the playground sees these new elves!!!"
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.