Steve: Kurt and Left Eye pass. Eazy-E fails.
Zack: E loses 5 sanity so he goes immediately and temporarily insane. In this case I am going to say he starts babbling, but instead of just regular babbling he starts singing high-speed reggae.
Steve: Like Snow?
Zack: Yes. All of the lyrics are horrible mythos secrets.
Steve: Like Snow?
Zack: Yes, except instead of singing about Toronto he is singing about the cold plateau of Leng. There is still the part about the detective and the strip search though.
Steve: So is this lady shooting at us or what?
Zack: She says what might be, "Stay back" and then, "You can't stop us!"
Steve: Since Kurt is high and Eazy-E is rapping I am going to have Left Eye try to reason with her. "Look, lady, we want to help you. What happened here?"
Zack: She starts laughing. As she's laughing she puts the pistol to the side of her head and pulls the trigger. Her brains splatter all over the machine.
Steve: Ohhhhhhh! I could have gone all day without seeing that!
Zack: As your ears stop ringing you hear another sound that sends a chill up your back: sirens. Lots of sirens.
Steve: We've got to get back to the van.
Zack: As you climb out of the pit you see that the parking lot is already swarming with cop cars. You see guys in FBI jackets taking up positions and a helicopter thumping in the sky overhead.
Steve: Shit. Let me ask you something.
Steve: In his current condition, can Eazy-E summon a Servitor of the Outer Gods?
Zack: Oh my god, yes. I don't know if the rules say yes, but for purposes of comedy, I say yes.
Steve: Activating flute.
Zack: Next timeeeeeeeee!
2 PM: Steven J. accidentally drops his vintage Trapper Keeper, revealing erotic drawings of the ‘bunny girls’ emoji. The room draws silent. Slowly, member after member opens his/her notebooks and tablets, revealing dozens of pages of bunny girl emoji fanart. The room votes 12-0 never to speak of this again.
He was ripped off for True Detective, now Thomas Ligotti is being asked to review Pizza Hut's new Hotdog Pizza Bites.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.