Zack: Jeep went way outside the box with alternative fuels on the 2035 Wrangler.
Steve: I don't think that deer really wants to take a bath.
Zack: It wouldn't be so bad if Crab Jeep didn't stare at us with those unblinking headlight eyes while he was molesting wild animals. I feel dirty for watching.
Steve: I always get super mad about animals getting messed with. Like I can watch a video of some dude falling off a house and breaking his back on a trampoline or whatever but you show me one raccoon getting felt up by a space crab's tentacle and it starts to piss me off.
Zack: I know what you mean. I wish I had a pair of techno shades telling me I had a 99.99% chance my finger laser would blast the undercoat off this guy.Steve: Luckily no balls so I think you're immune to his attacks.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.