Zack: The DM frowned and slowly crossed off the number printed on the sheet. Beneath it, in cramped digits, he wrote the adjusted number: 614,399,999.
Zack: Of course that's just in this reality. In other realities the number is still at full.
Steve: I like it when people combine stuff from the Bible with stuff from D&D. Like it's sort of cool to imagine Jesus fighting a Balor.
Zack: Jesus in the Blood Wars. There would be a lot of forgiving going on down there.
Steve: What level caster do you think Jesus is when he uses his spell-like abilities?
Zack: I realize we just ran into a 141st level vampire swordsman, but I'm going to go old school on that one. 20th level.
Steve: The Jesus as a young man stuff that was cut out of the Bible was all his dungeon crawls.
Zack: Definitely. Some scrub healer can't self-resurrect. He had to be grinding out encounters in Judea, taking it to some trolls and Pharaohs and whatnot.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.