Two weeks ago we announced the start of our 2010 fantasy art competition. This year's theme: create erotic renditions of classic First Edition AD&D Monster Manual critters. Bonus points were awarded for humor and capturing the style of classic D&D artwork. We received more than 125 entries from almost 100 different people and the quality level this year was really amazing. If we could we would give every single entry its own page, but there's only so much Internet. Special thanks for our fabulous prizes to Wizards of the Coast, who did not administrate, sponsor, or endorse this contest.
Zack: Are you excited, Steve?
Steve: If I had a blog I would be blogging about this. I would be Facebooking it. I'd be Tweeting it.
Zack: Hall of these things and more could be joors, on the Hinternet...
Steve: Basically I look up sexy D&D babes in my free time, so this is like a leisure job. Like if I really loved eating PB&Js (I do) and I worked at a factory where my job was to eat PB&Js.
Zack: There is no such job.
Steve: Yes way, at the Peter Pan factory. Somebody has got to test creamy levels. What, are they going to shoot a laser at it? No way, man. Just lay some of that down on some bread, drop in some grape, boom. Litmus.
Zack: To summarize: Steve wants a job as a pro peanut butter and jelly eater and he is excited.
Steve: Way excited.Zack: We're going to be starting with the non-winners that we really liked.
Steve: We couldn't even nearly cram in all the ones we thought were cool. Do you have any idea how many owlbears we had to leave on the cutting room floor?
Zack: Is there a term for a group of owlbears? Like a murder of crows or a bloat of hippos?Steve: An encounter of owlbears.
The singer dove off the stage and crowd surfed in a sort of reverse funeral procession where the person being carried is the only one truly alive. Touching him I felt religious ecstasy and started speaking in tongues and requesting songs that didn't exist.
There's no easy way to put this, so I'll tell it like it is. Bouillon is died. He went missing before the weekend and yesterday I found his skeletonized remains at the bottom of the #3 soup vat during one of my swims. I thought the cream of mushroom soup had an especially nourishing taste, and a lot more clumps of fur and skin than usual.
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Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.