Zack: Guyth, hath anybody theen the cathe for my retainer!?
Steve: I feel sort of sorry for this dude. Wearing his little utility diaper and looking like he can't find his car keys.
Zack: Car keys? He can't find his family. Read the description for him. It's depressing as hell.
Steve: They were driven from their habitat and hunted nearly to extinction.
Zack: The Kuo-Toa is a metaphor for overfishing. Depressingest Catch.
Steve: He is a metaphor that lives in caves and you kill with a sword.
Zack: Just like the Metaphor of the Cave.
Steve: What's that?
Zack: It's where you go into a cave with a wizard and use a sword to kill Plato.
Steve: How the heck does that help with overfishing?
Zack: You kill it with a sword, duh. Haven't you ever problem solved in Dungeons and Dragons?
Steve: I'm not even going to answer that because you're making me pretty mad.
Zack: Sounds like I'm starting to become a problem, Steve. You know what that means!
Steve: I need to murder you with a sword.
Zack: What!? No! I was going to say improve communication to build a consensus. You are always trying to solve your problems with violence. I blame video games.
One wizard thinks our President's magic control initiatives have gone too far.
Are we not allowed to be real parents anymore? We may have feared the CyborFreaks, but we damn well respected them and learned about boundaries.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.