Steve: I looked for a piece of artwork that I felt really embodied Frank Frazetta to open this thing up with and I think this nails it. You've got the brutal looking barbarian, a super fine babe with her body hanging out of some shredded up clothes, evil beasts, and epic freaking scenery like you wouldn't believe.
Zack: I never really noticed how ripped up orcs are. Look at that musculature on those dudes. They must do nothing but crunches and push-ups like Orc Town is one huge prison yard.
Steve: It's a hard environment in Frank Frazetta paintings. You've got to climb a mountain just to fight some giant crazy barbarian with a five-foot battle axe.
Zack: In the savage mountains of Frazetta's imagination king of the hill is played for Keeps. Princess Keeps.
Steve: If I were an orc I'd probably climb a mountain and fight a barbarian to get at her. Have you seen orc babes?Zack: Sadly, yes.
Steve: Come to think of it, I have too. I don't really want to talk about it either. Let's just move on.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.