Steve: A Tool video approaches.
Zack: You can get a lot of mileage out of classic monsters and gory monsters, but nothing is as scary as a monster that doesn't make visual sense.
Steve: I guess it would be scary to get strangled by this thing. Right as you're blacking out that big stomach mouth would open up and start gumming your arm.
Zack: The best way to describe this monster is that it looks like all of the birth defects a baby can get from thalidomide, minus the baby.
Zack: "You enter the room full of drawers and the S&M vinyl man crawls backwards across the ceiling to the metronome of a ticking clock. A sexless collection of genetic disorders approaches you from the darkness. It appears to want to strangle your neck."
Steve: Seems like I've been here before! Seems so familiar! Seems like I'm slipping...into a dream within a dreaaaam!
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.