Adventure B3: Palace of the Silver Princess is the only D&D module to have been recalled because of objectionable content. It was released and recalled in a single day in 1981 so that an illustration titled "The Illusion of the Decapus" could be removed. You'll get to see the image later in the article, but by D&D standards it really isn't that offensive. Women being menaced by monsters are as much a staple of D&D as random encounter tables and dungeon rooms where monsters are just standing around idly waiting for adventurers to walk in. The plot including a chaotic evil militant feminist ruler is probably more offensive, but gets a pass because author Jean Wells has lady parts. The original, naughty version of Silver Princess "featured" empty rooms in the dungeons so that DMs could insert their own encounters.
Zack: The crude illustration THEY don't want you to see!
Steve: That was back when parents were always concerned about things.
Zack: Back when a hard enough guitar lick could turn a school classroom into a strip club and rolling to hit a kobold was the fast track to a lake of fire.
Steve: It would really suck if like you killed yourself because you were super depressed about something, but your parents blamed it on the music you listened to and it turned out to be super lame like Bad English or Skid Row.
Zack: "Paul Oakenfold told our precious baby to jump in front of a train."
Steve: Danny Elfman's score to Dolores Claiborne.
Zack: David Bowie, but the 1990s David Bowie who was still reeling from Tin Machine and started writing techno songs about his baby.
Steve: Capitol Steps. Bush Senior years.
Zack: I'll go you one better. Mark Russell on PBS singing about Supreme Court Justice Warren Berger retiring set to the tune of "Bye, Bye Birdie."
Steve: I think that means you win.
Zack: Yes! What do I win?
Steve: You are the Dungeon Master!
Zack: No! I don't want this prize!
Steve: Somebody has to do it, dude.
Zack: Oh, alright. Do you have your character ready?
Steve: Yes, prepare yourself for the might of Yngwulf Maimsteen, 3rd level bard of shredding metal. BTW, I have never played a bard before and barely know how they work.
When I try to clear the ball, run into me at a thousand miles per hour, sending me flying halfway across the map. If the ball is coming down in front of the opposing goal and I'm in position to tap it in, run into me at a thousand miles per hour. Never stop slamming into me at a thousand miles per hour, unless you can slam into me even faster.
eSports are getting more attention, but these new non-nerd spectators have no idea what's going happening. Help them understand how and why you've decided to waste your life with these simple approaches.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.