Zack: Stretchy heroes always struck me as the lowest tier of superhero.
Steve: It would be a fun power to have, but maybe not that cool compared to some other super powers.
Zack: There's a simple question to determine whether or not a super power is shitty.
Zack: Just ask: is this better than a gun?
Steve: If you need to reach something up on a really high shelf then being elastic is better than a gun.
Zack: Yeah, but if a guy had a gun and another guy is stretchy and they have to kill each other, which would you rather be?
Steve: It depends on the circumstances. If we have to fight each other in a series of chambers linked by tiny tunnels then I would rather be the stretchy guy.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.