Lowtax: Haha your web sucks, you stupid spider. Look at that shit, it's like the hair of a creature from a Dr. Seuss book.
Zack: "Yeah, nice try, Charlotte. You can't unlock a table. Fucking idiot spiders."
Lowtax: "That's the key to room 203. I said I wanted the key to room 302 you idiot spider."
Zack: And then it spends most of a day making a web to reach to the key hanging from the 302 peg only to have a treasure hunter walk through it.
Lowtax: I'm not even sure the spider is capable of picking up that goofy looking key. That web's foundation is shaky at best.
Lowtax: Like he's gonna get that sucker two inches off the ground and just fall.
Zack: "Mom, I think the spider has been reading my diary again!"
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
U2 and Apple have conspired to place a U2 album into your music in the year 2014. You own a U2 album. And you can't get rid of it.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.