Zack: Ashnod's cargo cult idol to Tony Stark.
Steve: For sale one really really needley suit. I don't know why I put needles all over it. I wasn't thinking. I had this suit and all these needles and glue and I just got carried away. The good news is it hurts a lot when you attack. The bad news is if you try to put this on your camel he's going to die.
Zack: When Ashnod gets stressed out he starts squeezing his sword and bending lumps onto it. Trust me, during the week of Mishra's yearly performance review he'll make a broadsword look like a waveform.
Steve: Excellent for commanders of armies of cushion or pillow men. Do you have a stuffed puppet man army? Perfect armor.
Zack: I want a stuffed puppet man army.
Steve: How many forests do you own?
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.