Zack: Ashnod's cargo cult idol to Tony Stark.
Steve: For sale one really really needley suit. I don't know why I put needles all over it. I wasn't thinking. I had this suit and all these needles and glue and I just got carried away. The good news is it hurts a lot when you attack. The bad news is if you try to put this on your camel he's going to die.
Zack: When Ashnod gets stressed out he starts squeezing his sword and bending lumps onto it. Trust me, during the week of Mishra's yearly performance review he'll make a broadsword look like a waveform.
Steve: Excellent for commanders of armies of cushion or pillow men. Do you have a stuffed puppet man army? Perfect armor.
Zack: I want a stuffed puppet man army.
Steve: How many forests do you own?
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.