Steve: Holy crap! Speaking of S&M bondage stuff...
Zack: It's always great when the comic dudes just cut loose and air their sexual hangups as female characters.
Steve: A goddess from ancient Rome who is super powerful across the board and she drains your psychic energy and whips you.
Zack: "Yeah, this is my new character, Mia Exgirlfrend. She can turn into a shrew and she has beautiful feet that men want to touch and rub all over their faces."
Steve: "Super Queen Mommy shoots milk into your mouth and you get strong bones and then she tucks you into bed."
Zack: "Stocking Sally is a perfect goddess from the moon where everybody has legs twice as long as earth legs and they wear indestructible moonsilk stockings and her power is she can tie you up with her stockings and you have to kiss whatever she tells you no matter what it is!"
Steve: "This is Danka Buttnugs and she never takes a bath and has to fart all the time and she traps heroes in elevators and she wears a thong. No, this isn't gross, it's based on m...uh, a real person I...read about once in a...book...about crimes."
Zack: I think I've heard them talking about psychic vampires on Art Bell. I never realized they were referring to immortal S&M ladies with capes.
Steve: That is also what they mean on Coast to Coast AM when they say orbs.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.