Zack: Remember the time Prince Verdant was so drunk he showed up to tree prom wearing his dress backwards?
Steve: I wonder what prom is like at elf tree village high school.
Zack: Judging on my experience with previous tree-dwelling cultures it's either going to be a lot like birds chirping or it will be a long, goofy nonsense song while the ghost of a sith looks on from the spirit realm.
Steve: It probably depends on what the theme is that year. Like "under the sea", "80s", or "golden era of elven magic."Steve: "It shall be an enchanted party where the great white oak Morningsong was never withered by the black hearts of human men and the songs of the trees delight us all."
Zack: The awkward elven band can lethargically cover some top elven hit that sounds suspiciously like Koyaanisqatsi.Steve: Playing on ocarinas and gourd sitars.
Zack: Mozart's instruments.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.