Steve: What do we know about this Morton Downey Junior dude?
Zack: TV blowhard famous for chain smoking, verbally abusing guests, and having a talk show that went nationwide and then tanked in the closing years of the 1980s. You know he unexpectedly declared he was running for president and he has not been polling very well.
Steve: Anything else? What sort of enemies does he have? Or who could he be framing?
Zack: Left Eye might be able to use a computer to check a BBS.
Steve: Okay, she will load up any BBS that might have information and do a search for Morton Downey Junior.
Zack: You find an animated GIF of a skull smoking a cigarette and a single page of HTML describing his platform. His platform seems to be a bunch of conservative, America-for-Americans sort of populism with a focus on building nuclear plants to get America off the "crack of oil." There is also stuff about nuking Saddam and various Middle Eastern countries.
Steve: Literally nuke them?
Zack: Yes, he repeatedly uses the phrase "turned into a smoldering radioactive wasteland."
Steve: I mean, like, this guy seems bad, but it's a free country. Everybody is entitled to their opinion.
Zack: So you're not going to do anything?
Steve: What can we do? We can't Dead Zone the guy for having stupid opinions.
Zack: Fair enough. The gang goes about their dreary lives of being some of the most popular people in the music industry. Drinking and doing dangerous amounts of drugs and researching the mythos.
Celebrate diversity and inclusiveness at your next protest by not calling Donald Trump a nasty little-hands pisspig bitch.
A true patriot has exactly seven t-shirts, with seven slight variations on a single phrase that tell one powerful story. This is that tale.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.