Steve: Rifts is obsessed with squirt guns. Squirt guns hurt vampires so the Rifts vampires book is like all stuff like this.
Zack: Yeah, sure, water is basically the easiest thing to find in Canada next to air, but we prefer magical water.
Steve: The water is more pure. Less pollution.
Zack: How do you know that? What studies have been done? Has the EPA tested it? This mommy wants her babies protected from unsafe magically created water. I'm not trusting my babies around these Canadian squirt guns.
Steve: Then your babies will die to the vampires!
Zack: Then prepare to get sued in federal court for allowing those vampires near my babies.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.