Steve: When I think of Canada I think of cowboys and Indians. And mecha horses.
Zack: I've heard of devil reefer but...damn...Canada's abstinence education is out of control.
Steve: Coyote tried to spear Demon Beaver but it didn't work. I had a similar dream but you've been getting super mad lately when I tell you about dreams.
Zack: Alright, alright. Go ahead. I won't get mad.
Steve: I was watching that TV show Spartacus on Starz and I dreamed that I was Crixus and Justin Bieber was the familial owner of the Ludus and I had risen to champion, but then I was mad because of course he did some sort of double cross on me like always happens so my wife, which was Angelina Jolie from Wanted, had got killed by the guy who was like Justin Bieber's right hand man only it was Keith and he was this huge jerk. Basically then the next fight I had in the arena against Metroid I took my spear and hurled it at Justin Bieber, but he didn't die.Zack: Steve.
Steve: Yeah?Zack: I am mad right now.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.