Steve's Stupidest #1
Josh the Kwarla
From Rifts Worldbook 19 Australia
Zack: Of course they make koalas a playable race.
Steve: Not koala, Kwarla. Josh is a member of a demon-hunting race of bipedal bears that scorn human society.
Steve: He is a magical MDC creature that can glow green and soak up triple damage and wield claws as big as short swords.
Zack: Just like koalas.
Steve: He can also drive a motorcycle and use energy pistols.
Zack: You're giving me the hard facts. Give me some of the background on Josh.
Steve: Born to a mother that was killed by a demon, he crusades across the Outback in search of all demons he can find. He does not trust or like humans, but he is not above helping them, particularly if a demon is threatening them.
Zack: So pretty standard koala origina story and behavior.
Steve: He also wears sunglasses.
Zack: This changes everything. Are they MDC sunglasses? Do they have a hit location?
Steve: Just sunglasses.
Zack: They're not even from another dimension?
Steve: I mean, yeah, naturally. This is Rifts we're talking about.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.