Zack: "Tell doc we're gonna need another two units of Emperor's blood out here, stat."
Steve: You'd think maybe they could shoot the blood up one of the 75 hoses permanently attached to his rotting guts.
Zack: In an alternate reality this is 38,000 years in the future for Terri Schiavo.
Steve: Whatever, dude. If Terri Schiavo controlled the navigation of spaceships I'd probably vote to keep her plugged in too.Zack: Damn you Emperor for not writing a living will!
Steve: Keep talking like that and you're liable to grow a nose out of your forehead.
Steve: Dude! You promised!
Zack: Huh? This is a storyboard for Stuart Little 4: Stuart's Inferno. I don't know how it got in here.
Steve: Bull, dude. Bull. That is some creepy sort of space marine and a little tank and a rat man and, I don't know what he's doing, but it's freaking me out.Zack: Calm down. Stuart's wife committed suicide and he's just trying to rescue her from hell. That's her in the test tube.
Steve: When I close my eyes I can still see this picture.
Evil Cooper and Chechen President Ramzan Kadyrov have both been on a rampage, but who did what?
"Your left eye," the optometrist casually explained while blasting my face with a blue laser at point blank range, "is farsighted and shaped like an eyeball. The other eye is nearsighted and shaped like a football. Not even a good football."
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.