Zack: "Tell doc we're gonna need another two units of Emperor's blood out here, stat."
Steve: You'd think maybe they could shoot the blood up one of the 75 hoses permanently attached to his rotting guts.
Zack: In an alternate reality this is 38,000 years in the future for Terri Schiavo.
Steve: Whatever, dude. If Terri Schiavo controlled the navigation of spaceships I'd probably vote to keep her plugged in too.Zack: Damn you Emperor for not writing a living will!
Steve: Keep talking like that and you're liable to grow a nose out of your forehead.
Steve: Dude! You promised!
Zack: Huh? This is a storyboard for Stuart Little 4: Stuart's Inferno. I don't know how it got in here.
Steve: Bull, dude. Bull. That is some creepy sort of space marine and a little tank and a rat man and, I don't know what he's doing, but it's freaking me out.Zack: Calm down. Stuart's wife committed suicide and he's just trying to rescue her from hell. That's her in the test tube.
Steve: When I close my eyes I can still see this picture.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.