Zack: You kick open the grate on the duct and jump down expertly into Yadda's dressing room.
Steve: Is he impressed with my jump?
Zack: Yadda looks at you, giant and covered in ewok blood, and begins screaming and trying to run away from you.
Steve: Hey, yo, calm down little man. It's okay. I mean you no harm. I just need an autograph for my friend.
Zack: "S-sure," he says. He reaches over to pick up a head shot from his pile of photos and then suddenly throws them all in your face and runs for the door.
Steve: Can I grab him?
Zack: No, he's out of reach.
Steve: Can I throw something at him?
Zack: You can throw your light saber.
Steve: I don't want to kill the little dude! Is there a way I can like throw it and bank it off the wall so it knocks him over but doesn't chop off his arm or something?
Zack: With your intelligence, absolutely, no problem.
Steve: Alright I am making that throw. I can't let him get away before signing that autograph.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.