~Steve's Maximum Flexing Award~
"Der Katzen von Nippon"
By Ottermotive Insanity
Random Oni Table Rolls
48 broad muscle human body
15 cat head
70 broad ape nose
67 jaded bird eyes
89 toad mouth
79 5 arms
78 human feet, clawed toes
42 bushy eyebrows and beard
14 redish brown skin
Description: Der Katzen von Nippon lives in the neo-FujiYama region where he climbs mountains to befriend the local insectoid population, who he will later feast on. Der Katzen von Nippon is really super strong, like you wouldn't believe. He works out all day, lifting boulders, and squashing insectoids. He especially enjoys working out his groinal arm. His girlfriend is Fraulein Boobenmeister, who has 5 boobs, one for each hand.
Der Katzen von Nippon attacks when ever someone makes mention of his extreme swoleness, or makes fun of his lack of reproductive organs. He is impervious to any sword but the katana, and he can see when ninjas are attacking, so don't even try to sneak up on him.The Verdict
Steve: Look at how pumped up this dude is. He will wreck some adventurers. Flexing his pecs and popping his abs out under that beard.
Zack: Underneath that beard is one big chafed rash.
Steve: That beard looks familiar.Zack: "Rolled a 73. Saddam's beard!"
He had a yellow inflatable tube around his waist, the kind with a comical duck head. There was a tiny fish in one of his hands, and a trident in the other. In the background a squirrel wearing shades was water skiing.
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.