"Gerald the Demon of Nothing is Impossible"
By Oatmeal Surprise
Random Oni Table Rolls
Body: 78 Toad
Head Shape: 57 Fish-like
Nose: 18 Bulbous
Eyes: 2 Large Human, Crazed
Mouth 32 Human (2x large, pointed teeth)
Arms + Hands: 73 Squirrel or rat like
Legs: 5 Perfectly Human
Other: 61 No Body Hair, pale skin
Skin: 14 Reddish Brown
Description: Gerald has spent most of his demon life overcoming the hardships of being born with squirrel arms. Despite ridicule from other demons during his childhood, Gerald has gone on to accomplish a number of seemingly impossible feats. He is classically trained in both guitar and piano, has climbed mount everest, swum the English channel, and won the 2004 olympic gold medal in discus throwing. He has graced the pages of the Washington Post, Time, and Newsweek. Today Gerald tours the country as a motivational speaker, bringing his story to thousands of schoolchildren a year. In his freetime, Gerald enjoys destroying villages and devouring the innocent.The Verdict
Zack: I can imagine this guy scuttling around some ruins trying to avoid the giant skull robots and skull jets and skull troopers of the Coalition.
Steve: His nose looks sort of like an octopus head, which is freakin' me out a lil bit.Zack: Oh, wow, now that you point that out his hold head is messed up. It's like two fish from the side kissing each other and in between them is the octopus.
Steve: It's exactly like that picture of the old lady's silhouette and then you turned it upside down and you realize it was a naked lady's silhouette.
Zack: Exactly like that.
The Amazonians value combat prowess and purity of spirit. By wrestling half naked, they pay homage to both virtues by displaying their battle-forged bodies while preserving as much modesty as their society deems necessary. The gelatin in which they wrestle is symbolic of the fluid nature of battle, a concept the Amazonians call ‘akgor-gra.’
Pros: Much more comfortable than my last toilet seat, which was a transparent resin with seashells embedded inside. The outer layer wore off from friction, exposing the sharp jagged edges of the seashells, which were constantly scrapping my backside and causing major cuts and open sores.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.