Far Future War
Steve: Ah, I can't tell what's going on!
Zack: Grim and dark enough for you?
Steve: Everyone is always yelling in 40K. They're always shouting about something and there's always something giant in the background.
Zack: 40K is definitely our most requested gaming system. I wanted to start with the really old Rogue Trader stuff, but you thought we had to do the new stuff first. Explain yourself.
Steve: Well, like, I wanted to be fair. Rogue Trader book is awesome, truly, but it's all weird too. Like bug men all over the place and the Space Marines look sort of crazy. 40K is like my favorite system beside probably D&D, so I wanted to give it a fair shot with the new book which is way cooler and the rules are better.
Zack: You realize our purpose here isn't to be fair, right? It's pretty much the opposite of our purpose. We're here to be as unfair as possible.
Steve: Yeah, I guess, but I mean, if you're really so good at being mean you can be mean about the new one too.
Zack: I accept your challenge.
Steve: Whoa, wait a second. Hold on. I wasn't telling you to be mean about Warhammer, I was just saying this was like an exercise.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.