Glenn Beck has lost his voice, but while he can't make a sound, the net result was a louder America, due to a nation of rapt listeners weeping and wailing about lost insights and insults. There's a silver lining, though, as Beck's silence functioned as sensory-deprivation therapy, motivating him to dig deep and express through note cards what he's been too scared to say.
Are we not allowed to be real parents anymore? We may have feared the CyborFreaks, but we damn well respected them and learned about boundaries.
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
You have summoned him and now he is here!