Glenn Beck has lost his voice, but while he can't make a sound, the net result was a louder America, due to a nation of rapt listeners weeping and wailing about lost insights and insults. There's a silver lining, though, as Beck's silence functioned as sensory-deprivation therapy, motivating him to dig deep and express through note cards what he's been too scared to say.
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
There is a witch hunt going on right now and I promise you that you will not find any witches in the pleasure room in my congressional office.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
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You have summoned him and now he is here!