Existing members... WHY ARE YOU HERE?   

You're just three (3) or possibly 564 (564) easy steps away from claiming your very own prescription medication or household electronic item for free! It's so easy that you'll be asking yourself, "why didn't I spam this fucking link all over every forum and instant messaging client months ago?" We all know that the price of friendship and common courtesy can easily be discarded for something as important as a FREE SINGEOSAN MICROWAVE or a bottle of AUTHENTIC CANADIAN SUBSTITUTE GENERIC VIAGRA-LIKE PRODUCT. After all, you'd feel absolutely horrible if there were maybe two people hiding underneath their bed in war-torn Rwanda who didn't know of such a fabulous website as this one, and it's your civic duty as a patriotic Internet citizen to inform them of this awesome deal by copying and pasting this link all over every single medium ever created in either the past, present, or future.

Now you might be saying, "this sounds too good to be true! How can I possibly earn a FREE FARSINKO AM/FM RADIO TUNER WITH BUILT IN 3D POSITIONAL 'NOT-QUITE-SURROUNDSOUND' RAPE MATRIX KIT by doing next to nothing?" Well it's not too good to be true... it's TOO GREAT TO NOT BE ENTIRELY FANTASTIC! Just complete the following steps and you'll be on your way to EARNING THE FREE PRESCRIPTION MEDICATION OR HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCE of your dreams!

And that's it! Just complete those three easy steps and you're done! Oh wait, we seem to have forgotten about the cavalcade of junk and spam mail, er VALUABLE FREE OFFERS, you and your previous friends will soon be receiving! And wait, our lawyers are saying something about how you're required to sign up roughly 53 billion other people before you receive the FREE MIZNUZA AUTOMATIC KNIFE ROTATION KIT WITH OPTIONAL PROSAC DISPENSER you ordered. But that's okay, they won't mind having to put up with an endless avalanche of referral URLS and obnoxious advertisements because THERE'S A PRETTY GOOD CHANCE YOU MAY BE GETTING A BOX FULL OF WIRES AND BATTERIES FOR FREE.

REMEMBER: You absolutely WILL NOT receive your valuable free prizes and incredible awards if our Internet Scouring Spiders find a single person on the Internet who has not seen your copy and pasted referral URL at least 40 times! So quick, sign up and throw your dignity and sense of common courtesy out the door, because - hey - THERE'S A CHANCE YOU MIGHT GET SOMETHING FOR FREE AND THAT'S ALL THAT FUCKING MATTERS! And why should it matter anyway? IT'S THE INTERNET; YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE AN ASSHOLE HERE!

Copyright 2004 FreeePharmacyAndoElectronics.com. All rights reserved, although nobody on the Internet apparently has any rights. We encourage users to copy and paste their referral link to every single place which accepts text on the Internet, including Comcast tech support links, Dragonball Z forums, emails to grandma, any instant messaging client which supports both the happy and unhappy face, and those little Javascript boxes which pop up and ask you for your name so the webpage can say "WELCOME (YOUR NAME)" only the "(YOUR NAME)" part actually displays whatever you entered into the previous box, not actually the phrase "(YOUR NAME)" which would be ridiculous. Our website is in no way affiliated with any website anywhere and we ain't paying no child support for no babies. We do not own, endorse, or support the gang of thugs currently attempting to break into your car with crowbars.