FRIDAY, DECEMBER 5, 2003
HOT! Jerry Seinfeld's next project: EATING BREAKFAST
New Gilda Radner biopic to consult voodoo animated corpse of Radner
Larry wrote a creepy essay about Sara-Michelle Gellar's breasts

In depth review of FOOD TV commercials
Larry Knowles to guest on MTV'S PUNK'D

New Tony Danza series to be shockingly bad, but we love it!
Jessica Alba has sebacious cyst near anus drained
What sort of panties does Vic Tayback's widow wear? FIND OUT!
Episode of COPS to feature drunken white man exiting bar


A saliva-coated preview of the movie advertising with us that we lifted from their PRESS PACKET!

News!!!!!!! Three of our writers are prepared to propose marriage to the film EXTREME OPS it is so unbelievably good!

Special effects top ten: Pretty lights make us dizzy with joy!

BREAKING: Poll proves Ebert's credibility shot following guest appearance by Larry


Rumor brewing about LORD OF THE RINGS DVD set so major that we may have to turn to science to develop a LARGER FONT!!!!!!!

Gotta Scoop, a pic, a lead, the skinny? E-me at [email protected]

Uwe Boll: best director in universe

Photos from the set of X-MEN 3. Strict security guard looks sort of like Hugh Jackman and craft services table looks well stocked!!

Larry Wachowski to direct GAY PORNO with two friends in bedroom.

Fresh pies? How come? Where? Who is that guy?


LA FLEUR DU MAL reviews in! Desperately needs more Chris Tucker

New Grisham adaptation rumored to be titled JOHN GRISHAM'S E-MAIL TO ADULT BOUNCER REQUESTING CANCELLATION OF HIS ACCOUNT.

Larry asks could Rachel Leigh Cook be any hotter even if microwaved like a burrito? Prepare to find out and be deeply disturbed!!!!

Kevin Smith writes in to once again humiliate himself by angrily defending Ben Affleck's engagement to hideous ass harpy Jennifer Lopez


LORD OF THE RINGS EXCLUSIVE Jackson answers dozens of inane reader questions like "are orcs real?" and "what is your favorite movie?"!!!!!!

Amazon Top 500 Reviewer BruceWillis043 writes scathing piece on poor image quality of RUGRATS GO WILD's DVD release!!

This headline proves that I'm a Hollywood big wig by writing WARNER BROTHERS and ME in the same sentence! WARNER BROTHERS and ME!!!!

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MICHAEL BAY'S EXPLOSION 2: THE DETONATION review
HAMPER CAMPER review
USA! USA! review
FOUR HOURS OF DRAMATIC HISTORICAL CRAP review
LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS: THE DVD: BONUS MATERIAL: THE MAKING OF RETURN OF THE KING review
ANOTHER RUINED DR. SEUSS CHARACTER review
A CHRISTMAS COMEDY review
A CHRISTMAS COMEDY 2: NOT FOR KIDS review
LARRY GOES OFF TOPIC AND RANTS ABOUT HIS CHEESESTEAK METAPHOR FOR NINE PARAGRAPHS review
YET ANOTHER REMAKE OF A JAPANESE MOVIE review
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Which Hollywood bigshot should Larry service to maintain his new position in life?

Robert Evans
Drew Barrymore's Asian manservant "Hector"
Anything that moves
The Jews
The Communists
Peter Jackson (some more)
Natalie Portman who is so hot that Larry wrote an entire book of erotic poetry about her and had it sent to her publicist using his "contacts" only to receive a hostile letter from her attorney

View Results
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