He IS the ladies man!
The Chick Magnet costume includes a red and silver foam "magnet" with attached baby chicks. They won't be able to explain it, but the ladies will feel an unexplained attraction to you!
- Available in one size fits most adults, sizes Large/X-Large.
- Shirt and pants are not included.
Dr. Thorpenstein: I found this by searching the costume site for "Yeah, I get it, it's just not funny."
Zackula: Includes foam magnet, attached chicks, and incredible douchebag feeling as you walk into a party.
Dr. Thorpenstein: This is like the opposite of the heron costume, because you spend all night going around the party and trying to sell the joke. "Yeah, but the phrase 'chick magnet' has a double meaning, because this costume is literally a magnet that attracts baby chickens, but the phrase can also mean a person who is attractive to women, so..."
Zackula: I don't know though, I almost think this would work if you want to screw a really drunk chick. This is exactly the sort of idiotic joke a drunk girl would see and understand from across the room and come over to tell you loudly.
Zackula: "I GET IT! IT'S HILARIOUS! YOU ARE SO FUNNY! DID YOU DRIVE HERE?"
Dr. Thorpenstein: If there was actually some foolproof or even semi-effective way to guarantee bagging a drunk girl, it probably wouldn't be on clearance for $12.99.
Zackula: That's a very good point. If compelling oratory is only worth 100 dollars the guarantee of bagging a drunk girl has got to be worth like 50 or 60 thousand.
Dr. Thorpenstein: It seems like they've having some trouble selling this, so maybe they should just try another angle and instead of labeling it "chick magnet," they could call it "guy who is not funny."
Dr. Thorpenstein: Yo, did you see Dave's guy who is not funny costume? He totally had me fooled in that thing.
Zackula: Oh, I thought the not funny costume looked a lot like your face.
Dr. Thorpenstein: Yeah, well... you don't even need a costume to look like a guy who is not funny.
Dr. Thorpenstein: Hey, is it Halloween? Because you look like you're not funny right now!
Dr. Thorpenstein: Oh, I guess it is Halloween.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Fashion SWAT... the fashion industry is obsessed with impracticality. We know that what designers create was never meant to be worn by the grimy masses, but that doesn't somehow diminish how ridiculous many of these costumes are. Make no mistake, they are costumes, and like a Halloween prize pageant we will turn our discerning gaze on the grievous fashion misfires of Paris, Milan, and New York. We're not pulling any punches, and we're definitely not interested in making any friends. We're Joan Rivers without Melissa Rivers to temper our screeching. We're the Fashion Police in jack boots. We are Fashion SWAT.