This is one partying dude!
Costume Includes: Striped top, sombrero, bandolier belt, shot glasses and tequila holster belt. Simply supply your own tequila bottles.
- Plus size 48-53
Pants and shoes not included.
Dr. Thorpenstein: Hmm, yeah, this is pretty racist I guess, but I'm still holding out for a really good coon costume.
Zackula: This is what happens when white people rule the world for too long.
Dr. Thorpenstein: Couldn't they have given him some tacos in the holsters or something? I'm sorry, but they really aren't selling this concept hard enough.
Zackula: "Yeah, I'm a giant fat dude, but they make costumes so even I can dress up as a racist stereotype."
Zackula: In 50 years when most Americans are completely immobile mounds of flesh on couches being bathed and turned by nurses they will still be ordering pancho-patterned blankets and sombrero pillows and mustaches to mock the Mexicans.
Zackula: There will still be some guy on a holographic webcam somewhere, the gelatinous mountain of his body quaking with mirth as he brushes Soft Batch cookie crumbs from his fake Mexican mustache.
Dr. Thorpenstein: This is one of those things where you either have to do a careful mental census of whether there are going to be any Hispanic people at the party that you might offend or just be too stupid and racist to care. And I'm not holding out much hope that the first group exists.
Zackula: It reminds me of about a year ago when Homeland Security had a Halloween party and a white guy went dressed as a prisoner in blackface. Literally blackface. And the best part is he appeared in blackface posing with high ranking officials for pictures at the party and I think he won the costume contest.
Dr. Thorpenstein: I'd be inclined to admire the hubris of that if it weren't so representative of everyhing this country has come to stand for. Nah, what the hell, I'm just going to admire it.Zackula: I think it's more that these people sometimes just forget what time we live in. When you're shut up in a room with Strom Thurmond it's only natural you start patting him on the back and talking about what a great idea it was to think black people shouldn't be able to eat pizza with white people or high five them or whatever segregation was about. It's just one of many reasons for us to think we're living in the 1930s.
Dr. Thorpenstein: In every American, no matter how liberal they are on the surface, there is a small part that just goes, "FUCK YEAH, I'M PANCHO VILL-AH, WHO THE FUCK WANTS SOME TEH-KWILL-AH?"
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
Fashion SWAT... the fashion industry is obsessed with impracticality. We know that what designers create was never meant to be worn by the grimy masses, but that doesn't somehow diminish how ridiculous many of these costumes are. Make no mistake, they are costumes, and like a Halloween prize pageant we will turn our discerning gaze on the grievous fashion misfires of Paris, Milan, and New York. We're not pulling any punches, and we're definitely not interested in making any friends. We're Joan Rivers without Melissa Rivers to temper our screeching. We're the Fashion Police in jack boots. We are Fashion SWAT.