Pj Jammies Plus Size Adult Costume
PJ Costume includes: Jumpsuit, Bonnet and Bib.
Duck is not inlcuded.
- One size fits most.
Dr. Thorpenstein: This kind of thing is only suitable for humiliation fetish stuff. There can be no other purpose for this.
Zackula: Exactly. Just try to picture donning this costume and then saying aloud to a friend, "I am going to get so much pussy tonight."
Zackula: Not possible. You would have a stroke mid-sentence.
Dr. Thorpenstein: You can't even wear this in public, you give out way too much of an "ooh, yeah, I'm a big fat fucking baby, ooh, I smeared shit on my ducky, piss on me" vibe.
Zackula: You don't even get the duck. That's like the only fun part of the costume.
Dr. Thorpenstein: Yeah, and without the duck you have to move your arms while you walk around in this shit, and that's just not going to look natural.
Dr. Thorpenstein: No pockets or anything, just gotta swing those arms like a striding fat sex baby.
Zackula: Briskly on your way to somewhere you can get peed on by a dude in a leather mask.
Dr. Thorpenstein: If on the off chance someone wears this not for a sex purpose: Jesus. This is so far beyond "wacky fat guy" territory and waaay into "cry for help" shit.
Zackula: Not only for fat guys! Also comes in pink for fat girls!
Dr. Thorpenstein: Like, if Chris Farley had worn this in his final days, he'd be alive right now. People would be like "Chris is really starting to lose it, man, we need to do something right fucking now."
Zackula: Not to mention no self-respecting dealer would sell a man coke when he's wearing one of these. That's like handing a suicidal man a loaded gun.
Zackula: You want return customers, not some guy coked out of his mind shitting in his diaper on a webcam.
Dr. Thorpenstein: Actually, nah, coke dealers would probably just assume meanie leather daddy-mommy was going to blow the coke up naughty baby's bad naughty butthole with a silly straw.
Dr. Thorpenstein: They get this all the time.
Zackula: Not at least for another 50 years when that sort of thing is the normal part of American's everyday existence as 1200 pound asexual slugs. Slugs in sombreros yelling "ARRRIBA!"
Dr. Thorpenstein: Dude, I can be there in 25.
Zackula: I do love potato skins.
Dr. Thorpenstein: There's a Chili's really close to my house, so I'm fucked.
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
It's just a little confusing, is all.
Fashion SWAT... the fashion industry is obsessed with impracticality. We know that what designers create was never meant to be worn by the grimy masses, but that doesn't somehow diminish how ridiculous many of these costumes are. Make no mistake, they are costumes, and like a Halloween prize pageant we will turn our discerning gaze on the grievous fashion misfires of Paris, Milan, and New York. We're not pulling any punches, and we're definitely not interested in making any friends. We're Joan Rivers without Melissa Rivers to temper our screeching. We're the Fashion Police in jack boots. We are Fashion SWAT.