Zack: "Yes, I would like a tattoo that cancels itself out."
Dave: I guess it's kind of like the yin-yang symbol, because Jesus cannot exist without the satanic vampire, and vice versa.
Zack: Although the vampire doesn't really look afraid of the crucifix. Maybe slightly perplexed, like he's about to say something a little confused.
Dave: On the other arm he has a faint swastika with a stylized portrait of David Ben-Gurion over it.
Zack: And on his chest a faint swastika with a confused Hindu swastika over it.
Dave: I'm going to get an Artist Formerly Known as Prince symbol with Batman over it.
Zack: This tattoo was all a coverup for his original "shadow catches a football" tattoo.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Fashion SWAT... the fashion industry is obsessed with impracticality. We know that what designers create was never meant to be worn by the grimy masses, but that doesn't somehow diminish how ridiculous many of these costumes are. Make no mistake, they are costumes, and like a Halloween prize pageant we will turn our discerning gaze on the grievous fashion misfires of Paris, Milan, and New York. We're not pulling any punches, and we're definitely not interested in making any friends. We're Joan Rivers without Melissa Rivers to temper our screeching. We're the Fashion Police in jack boots. We are Fashion SWAT.