Zack: "Yes, I would like a tattoo that cancels itself out."
Dave: I guess it's kind of like the yin-yang symbol, because Jesus cannot exist without the satanic vampire, and vice versa.
Zack: Although the vampire doesn't really look afraid of the crucifix. Maybe slightly perplexed, like he's about to say something a little confused.
Dave: On the other arm he has a faint swastika with a stylized portrait of David Ben-Gurion over it.
Zack: And on his chest a faint swastika with a confused Hindu swastika over it.
Dave: I'm going to get an Artist Formerly Known as Prince symbol with Batman over it.
Zack: This tattoo was all a coverup for his original "shadow catches a football" tattoo.
Transgressive author Chuck Palahniuk is here to help with tips and tricks to hacking your life.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
Fashion SWAT... the fashion industry is obsessed with impracticality. We know that what designers create was never meant to be worn by the grimy masses, but that doesn't somehow diminish how ridiculous many of these costumes are. Make no mistake, they are costumes, and like a Halloween prize pageant we will turn our discerning gaze on the grievous fashion misfires of Paris, Milan, and New York. We're not pulling any punches, and we're definitely not interested in making any friends. We're Joan Rivers without Melissa Rivers to temper our screeching. We're the Fashion Police in jack boots. We are Fashion SWAT.