Zack: "Yes, I would like a tattoo that cancels itself out."
Dave: I guess it's kind of like the yin-yang symbol, because Jesus cannot exist without the satanic vampire, and vice versa.
Zack: Although the vampire doesn't really look afraid of the crucifix. Maybe slightly perplexed, like he's about to say something a little confused.
Dave: On the other arm he has a faint swastika with a stylized portrait of David Ben-Gurion over it.
Zack: And on his chest a faint swastika with a confused Hindu swastika over it.
Dave: I'm going to get an Artist Formerly Known as Prince symbol with Batman over it.
Zack: This tattoo was all a coverup for his original "shadow catches a football" tattoo.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Youtube user HolkHogan420 has been systematically exposing all of the Illuminati's plans.
Fashion SWAT... the fashion industry is obsessed with impracticality. We know that what designers create was never meant to be worn by the grimy masses, but that doesn't somehow diminish how ridiculous many of these costumes are. Make no mistake, they are costumes, and like a Halloween prize pageant we will turn our discerning gaze on the grievous fashion misfires of Paris, Milan, and New York. We're not pulling any punches, and we're definitely not interested in making any friends. We're Joan Rivers without Melissa Rivers to temper our screeching. We're the Fashion Police in jack boots. We are Fashion SWAT.