Zack: The guy on the right is high as fuck.
Dave: Just as behind every great man there's a great woman, behind every straightedge skinhead ne'er-do-well there's a lumbering Mormon mantoddler.
Zack: As far as I can tell, straightedge people are Nazi kids afraid of getting their asses kicked by black people.
Zack: I'd love to see this moron start a brawl with some MS 13 guys.
Dave: Yeah, as a general rule, white guys with big "13" tattoos on their faces should politely sidestep Los Angeles to avoid encounters with chainsaws.
Dave: That's why they spend Christmases at home, with cousin Chad.
Zack: Oddly enough, the same catalog sells DRUG FREE hoodies and fabulous teddy bear Christmas sweaters.
The Amazonians value combat prowess and purity of spirit. By wrestling half naked, they pay homage to both virtues by displaying their battle-forged bodies while preserving as much modesty as their society deems necessary. The gelatin in which they wrestle is symbolic of the fluid nature of battle, a concept the Amazonians call ‘akgor-gra.’
Pros: Much more comfortable than my last toilet seat, which was a transparent resin with seashells embedded inside. The outer layer wore off from friction, exposing the sharp jagged edges of the seashells, which were constantly scrapping my backside and causing major cuts and open sores.
Fashion SWAT... the fashion industry is obsessed with impracticality. We know that what designers create was never meant to be worn by the grimy masses, but that doesn't somehow diminish how ridiculous many of these costumes are. Make no mistake, they are costumes, and like a Halloween prize pageant we will turn our discerning gaze on the grievous fashion misfires of Paris, Milan, and New York. We're not pulling any punches, and we're definitely not interested in making any friends. We're Joan Rivers without Melissa Rivers to temper our screeching. We're the Fashion Police in jack boots. We are Fashion SWAT.