Chapter Two - Hail to the Queen of the AliensThe White House is bombarded by the Alien Queen Mothership.The Alien Fleet was all over the world, it was over 500 huge ships and inside each ship was 1,000,000 Alien Soldiers and 50,000 Alien tanks, and 50,000 Heavy Robot Mechanoids. That is a total of 500,000,000 Alien Soldiers, 2,500,000 Alien Tanks, and 2,500,000 Heavy Robot Mechanoids. This doesn't include the Queen Mother Ship which was twice as big and had twice as many troops on it as all of the other ships. The Queen Mother Ship was sitting over the White House in America. The American Humans were shooting all kinds of things like rockets and machineguns at the Queen Mother Ship, but they were just bouncing off.
"Ha ha ha," laughed the Alien Queen Mother, "they are just bouncing off."
Unlike the other aliens she was very pretty, she had purple skin and really big breasts and was topless so you could see them, all she was wearing was a pair of panties that were made out of the skin of a human she had killed in the torture room. The commanders had told her it was a general of the most troublesome humans, the Americans, so she thought it would make a fitting covering for her reproductive stuff. Her reproductive stuff worked like humans but not exactly, so she could have sex with humans and that's important for later, just remember.The Alien Queen Mother sits on her ship's command bridge. She is topless."Get the American Human leader on the communiphone screen!" Shouted the Queen and the aliens on the command bridge of the ship scurried to obey her because if they did not she was known to shoot them out the garbage launcher into the ocean. This killed them.
"We will never give up alien scum!" Yelled the president suddenly as his face appeared on a huge wall screen on the ship.
"You are the last of your people to oppose me American leader," laughed the Alien Queen and her naked breasts. "We have turned Japan into a space parking lot and killed all of the British humans and made their cities into a daycare for Alien Soldiers so they can drop off their Alien babies before they come to destroy more of you humans. Give up and be our slaves, it is the only way to go!"
"You'll have to kill us all!" Shouted the president and then he shot a gun at the alien communication drone that he was talking through and the wall on the alien ship went blank.
"Damn that annoying American!" The Alien Queen slammed her fist down on the control panel of her throne. "Land all of the Heavy Robot Mechanoids!"
"A-All of them my queen?" asked one of the Aliens on the command bridge.
"Yes you fool! We will kill every American until their streets run red with their corpses!" Then the Queen pushed the button on the control panel of her throne that launched the stupid alien who asked her the question out of the garbage launcher and into the ocean. He died.
This is not my jury summons!
Can you figure out which clickbait headlines are a gross parody of journalism itself, and which are fake?
You cant go around life being smart in an unconventional way, it could change the world.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.