From: "Louis Deis"
Subject: Dumb shit...
Maybe your a tad to "l337" to undestand this but everyone, save morons like you, know that Jeff K is fake. He is a comedy prop used to mock shitheads like you. Something Awful is a hilarious site, and I hope you die a slow, painful death...
Subject: your hack
In case you dont know, jeff k was a humorous creation by lowtax to make fun of all the little im a l33t hax0r kids out there that truly do not know anyting about hacking. its not making fun of real hackers, or suggesting that lowtax has any hacking knowlege. from your webpage, it sounds like you dont understand the humor.
oh yeah, you didnt even hack the ask jeff k section of something awful. you got jeffs personal section, but the only part of something awful you damaged was a part that has NOTHING to do with jeff k. if youre gonna hack someting, hack it right.
From: "Zlatko Z."
Subject: Nice job
That faggot site deserved it, stupid lowtax, fucking fag, he exploits the stupidity of others by making them thing that Jeff K is real, if anyone had any doubts as to his reality, they are stupid shitheads.
-Nice job, it's always nice to see l337 ha><0rz like you who actually care.
From: "Lord Kefka"
Subject: You're a pussy.
What's wrong little guy? Are you sad because lowtax makes fun of morons like you? You're the spitting image of Jeff K, you little bitch! What, did you think I'd be afraid to email you? Are you gonna hack Hotmail? ME SO SCARED! PLEASE NO HURT ME! Whooptee-fuckin doo, you can hack a web page. Ever hacked your way into real life and got yourself, say, a girlfriend? You're just a no-life dork who needs to prove himself by PROVING lowtax's point...that little bitches like you are humorous. You realize that you're just another joke on somethingawful.com, right? And you did it yourself! Lowtax didn't even NEED to make fun of you! Hell, I'm not even total sure that YOU weren't made up by lowtax, you're such a ridiculous caricature of yourself! Anyway, I know you need a cyber ego since you don't have one in real life, but stick to your own little Yahoo corner of the web and leave good pages alone. And BTW, who's that dork in the bottom picture, in a cage? He your fag gimp? Who's the guy in the red hat? A loser of the "Who wants to be the lead singer of L1Mp B1ZK1t" contest? Just wondering.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.