Ask Jeff K. Firsties!

From: None None
Subject: Sup

Hola, Nice site, it seems to be getting alot of hits, how do you make q3 maps?

• brushes means "walls" but people who say brushes are trying to be smart even thou their not. you should say "OH HO, YOU ARE A SMARTY MAN ARENT' YUO MISTER MAPMAKER? HOW ABOUT YOU SCREW A DOG?" and then laugh (say "lol"). Point, set, match for you!
• yuo can make maps copmile fastar by makeing them fulbright. fulbrite is an acornym that means "Fastar Under Lighting Because Really Is Teh Extrafast". you wont see yuor kewl colored lights, but you should tipically use at least 100 colord light sources for "ATMOSPHERE"
• place guns near cornars. this helps "MAPEFLOW". put a lot of stair too (i cant get elevatars working). mapflow is when yuo make a map and think about it full of water and how the water would go. hopefully the water would go to teh BFG because that is good mapflow. use a lot of lava and acid too, PEOPLE LOVE MAPS WITH LAVA AND ACID
• make a lot of quad damages. more damage = more blod

i will write a mape tutorial sometime later for a website. i will become a mapmaker and surprise the industry!

FUNNY MOMENT THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME OF THE WEEK:

once time i was in Walmart with my mom because i had to buy shoes for chursch and me an my friend jerry Were in teh tire section and we picked up a tire and rolled it and we hit a baby and teh baby got squashed and then the manager came out and yeled at us but Jerry picked up a crowbar and smahsed him on the head with it LIKE A HEADCRAB!!! haha then the store blew up THE END

SEND ME MORE EMALE AND I WILL WRITE ABOUT YUO IN MY COLUMN NEXT WEEK AND WRITE BETTAR QUESTIONS bceayse some of them were frankely dumb. and if yuo send me meane emales, i will put yuor adress in the lettar like the ppl above so everybody knows yuo = fagot.

thx

bye

- JEFF K>

– Jeff K.