From: Tim M
Subject: intrsting News
ummmm, buddy. I have just seen your webpage, And god dam is it ever ugly. You refer on the page that anyone to insult you again will get a "fist full"?? I am insulting you by stating that you are a little shit who knows absolutly NOTHING about html and I could do better publishing through my rectum. Now it has come to my attention that you cannot spell worth shit due to mental illness, I do not reccomend you operating heavy machinery. Last but not least if you want to give me a "fist full" I am hoping on such an occastion where me and you will meet and before you open your mouth I will drop you, with should i say my "fist full" except it will be more of a round-house to the head.
Thank you for taking the time to read my Insult/Report on your Peice of Shit grammer and attitude.
oh no I am vary sorrey, but I didant read your high qualiety emale too me becuase I was too busy trying to figare out what your emale subject line of "intresting News" means!!! I ASSUME YUOR ARE PROFESIONAL SPELLER CHAMPION too writes in emales so maybe I am just not k3wl liek yuo so in closeing
JMP UP MY BUTT
(I wrote that in langage mayeb youll undartstand)
From: Stanley Kranovich
Subject: Video cards
I was going to buy a voodoo 4 4500, but the voodoo 5 5500 just went down 100 dollars. the price difference is now 50 dollars. which should I buy?
Yuo should gets a Voodoo 2 SLIP becuase you can combine one and two and make two Voodoo 2s for teh prices of One! 2 Voodoo 2s = Voodoo 4 by simpal math and the voodoo 2 has superior image qualeity
or yuo can maybe buy a NDIVIA card but I dont know, those peopal there are kind of crazzey liek a bug and they show up at trade shows and try to jump around teh place liek a nut. plus there cards dont work on Lunix maybe, I dont know. I just buy 3DFX because it uses GLADE and that si PROGRAMMIGN LANGUAGE OF TEH FUTURE AND Brian Burke quit 3DFX and moved too NDIVIA and now all teh peopal at NDIVIA are beateing him up becuase he was a jerk too them before (SWEAT REVENGE!). hear are some secrat camara pictares somebody at NDIVIA sent me:
Brian Burke got beat up by NDIVIA when he slept!
Brian Burke got beaten on his way too work - I guess they hit him with BAG OF LEAFES
He gets slammed in teh groin, oh no, no more Brian Burklings!!!
teh next day he gets strangaled and they think theres no witnesses but I HAEV A SECRAT CAMARA so NDIVIA BETTAR PAY ME MONEYS OR THES GOSE TOO THE COPS!!!/
So buy a 3DFX card beucase they dont assalt there employees!!!!
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.