This picture is sorta creepy, but I am not a creepy guy. Just this one picture.Some creepies say I was the new Slash in Guns and Roses before I left GNR although I still do some fun stuff with GNR. I wasn't the new Slash. Nobody could be that unless he was Slash.
I was the new Buckethead.
Yes, to answer your question, I am on Chinese Democracy. Yes, to answer your second question, it is an amazing album. And yes, in answer to your third question, I do have three albums with Viggo Mortensen due out in December.
I saw a ghost one time in a park at night. I think he was a king because he had a crown. Then there was a loud beeeeep sound and I turned to look and when I looked back the king was gone.
The next day I went back to the park and on that exact spot I saw a pigeon eating a hamburger. It was too big to fly with the hamburger so it dragged it over into the grass and was pecking at it and that made me a little worried.
Pigeons are supposed to eat seeds, but this one was eating a beef patty (I guess coulda been a seed patty???) so what might that rascal work its way up to next? A pizza? A barf pile? A dude's mom? What if you saw a dude yelling in the park and he was yelling "get away from my mom!!!"
I never did hear that beep again, but if you're looking to hear my furious licks on Chinese Democracy you should probably listen to "Sorry." That track really gets shredded.
Some day when I retire from shredding I want to take every kid in America to Disneyland. I have released eight albums with Viggo Mortensen and my favorite one is probably Intelligence Failure the one we put out in 2005. That was a good one. I put on roller skates and Viggo pulled me behind his bicycle, but I crashed into some of those metal cables they use to keep poles sticking up and I tore up my shin.
Other than my best friend in the world Horsehead I probably have done the most collaborating with Viggo.
Last year Viggo introduced me to Ron Paul. I tried to work as much of his message about fiat currency as possible into my guitar work for "Sorry" on Chinese Democracy.
My next album with Viggo is called Ramparts and it is based on a video game I had in my basement. You had to shoot cannons at a castle. Viggo got his hobbit friends to come and lay down some vocal tracks on some songs.
Frodo didn't really seem to understand fiat currency very well and he had a bunch of wicked creepies in his posse.
What if you were a cop and the Skittle was mentally disturbed and wanted to be eaten?
DOPPELGANGER NEEDED - To minimize stress to my dog, I'm looking for somebody who is identical to me to take over ownership. Must also be able to fool my wife. Call to set up interview. 555-8252
I'll never forgive these giant alien insects! I'm trying!
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.