Will it be a goat with a pitbull? An iguana and a cat? A piglet and a lion? Will a sad human somehow be involved to amp up the Feels even further? Will it be posted on Huffington Post, Upworthy, or Buzzfeed? We don't know the answer to any of these questions, but one thing is for certain: when mismatched animals pair up and resist killing each other for the two minutes required to take some pictures, well, our Feels are gonna be tingling.
The bullet went through those kids and hit you right in your poor Feels. Let's be real about some Feels. Statistically, you know it's gonna go down. Nothing lays waste to the Feels quite like a gunman busting into a school and blasting a whole bunch of kids. You've got the sobbing parents, the realization of all the potential lost when these kids got gunned down, thinking about, god forbid, your own kids. It's going to be a regular Feel-o-rama. Even if the kids are older or foreign it can still be pretty bad. There's always one story in there that just thwacks you right in the Feels. Be ready for it. Try not to read too many articles about it or watch too many news programs.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
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