Welcome back, Adverse Interests, LLC. you are now logged in. Thank you for choosing FIST for your staffing needs. We hope OPERATION A QUANTUM OF VIOLENCE went well!
You have 4 Henchman Status Updates awaiting your immediate attention.
Your credit with us is poor.
|Henchman Status Update (1 of 4)|
|The status of Hate Otter has been changed from ACTIVE to DECEASED.|
|Name: Hogan (DECEASED)|
Codename(s): Hate Otter, Nearly Super Soldier, Almost Indestructible, Weapon J, Hoagie
Join Date: 6-23-98
Primary Role: Extremely Tough Soldier
Secondary Role: Getting pissed, fighting, fightin', spot-welding, facial hairing
Specialties: Copper skeleton, retractable tin claws, scabbing factor, four kidneys, double skull (copper), supernumary rectums, mysterious past, terrible flashbacks, really bad temper, yelling, leaping, cutting things.
Availability: On Hire (hire)
Average Customer Rating: (rate)
|Circumstance of Contract Liquidation:|
Was shot to death by the Time-SS during a raid on the Timelair in Alabama. Forewarned by American terror-sympathizers, Hate Otter was ordered to hold Quantum Himmler's jackbooted puppets at bay while the administrative might of Adverse Interests, LLC and their henchmen escaped into the past in the rented time machine. Hate Otter fought valiantly, but his scabbing factor was overwhelmed by the quantity of bullets being inserted into his face. Several of the (more)
Gentle creature Mark Zuckerberg informs you that he enjoys his dog and wife the normal human amount. That he has a plan. That he will be Gentle Leader.
Afraid of ideas and free speech? Well then you better not read this article, coward.
Candles scented like Destiny planets - increases KDR by 26%!
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.