|Henchman Status Update (4 of 4)|
|The status of Time Machine has been changed from ACTIVE to DESTROYED.|
|Name: Titor Mk. VII (DESTROYED)|
Codename(s): Time Machine
Join Date: ?-?-??
Primary Role: Time Traveling
Secondary Role: Flux capacitoring, cocaine smuggling, 80s cruise-in attending
Specialties: Bending the beams of laser pointers, bucket seat reclining, traveling through frigging time what isn't that enough?
Availability: On Hire (hire)
Average Customer Rating: (rate)
|Circumstance of Contract Liquidation:|
Having disrupted the peaceful rule of the Eternal Reich, the administrators of Adverse Interests returned to 2009 only to discover that the Time-SS was replaced with T.E.A.M., the Americans were almost as insufferable as those happy good-times Nazis, and humans were replaced with hermaphrodite reptiles. T.E.A.M. agents failed to apprehend the Adverse Interests administrators and executives, but were able to destroy the time machine, which stalled at a stop light and (more)
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.