"Dynamic" floor placement ensures every morning will be different than the last!

Name: Pinnacle's Point
Price: Purple?
Pets: Often
Features:

  • NASCAR-themed kitchens provide hours of entertainment for the most discriminating of rednecks and mentally deficient fools.
  • Located near the bustling excitement of Wal-Mart, K-Mart, and Dairy Queen.
  • Rotating satellite dishes outside every window will hum you to sleep nightly.
  • Remote activated surveillance cameras supervise your every move!
  • "Secure" chickenwire gated entry keeps out small woodchucks and really weak bums.
  • Pleasant essence from nearby meat rendering plant insures wonderful dining experiences.
  • Outdoor and indoor outhouses, with one (1) free roll of toilet paper.
  • Swim / bathe in the outdoor Skumm Pond (tm).
  • Free rash examinations every Friday by "Crazy Earl".
  • You can't miss the annual "Baby Barter and Bong Swap".
  • Only minutes away from concrete.
  • Pool area has patented "Wee Wee Alarm" (TM).
  • Our apartments are safe for small children and farm animals. For instance, no one can get through our six inch bathroom door openings!
  • "Skylight" in #15 at no extra charge.
  • Dismemberment insurance available.
  • Sneak away to your private, "cozy" attic, teaming with "potential pets".
  • Our blinds feature a "cosine wave" deco style done by our own aspiring artist / peeping tom, "Herman".

Leonard Sez:

"Bill Buckner was the best damned president we never had."


– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka

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