Find a nope.

Socially, things were going about as well as you would expect for a hothead who studies pick-up lines on the Internet. Eliza didn't want to hear about games and Haggard got into a fist fight in the park with Ted. But his constant online chatting with Willow had paid off.

It was time to make his move. "Have you been to the doctor lately? If he's like me he is gonna want to check that body out."

That line didn't really work so well for Willow. Dejected, Haggard went back to his old rut of trashcan and bench.

More Features / Articles

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2017 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.